I’ve chosen this specific excerpt and this specific work in progress because it evokes a strong emotion in myself and hopefully to those who read it. It’s a topic that’s rarely broached in our daily lives but it is very real subject that plagued many people. The title Behind the Mask speaks for itself because no matter who we are, we all have things hidden.
“Are you listening to
what I’m telling you Ella?” The soft voice of Dr. Peyton questioned.
Immediately her eyes
shifted from the bookcase to him and then downcast to the file in his hands, a
soft blush heated against her cheeks, “I-I-um, well, sorry. I didn’t quite hear
what you said.”
“Must we do this each
visit, Ella? You sit there and look around my office and pretend you’re
listening when we both know you are not. Don’t you think we could try, just
this once, you listening and even sharing what is bothering you?” He hoped.
Her lips scrunched
together as she pursed them left to right. She shrugged, looking away and
towards the window.
“What do you want me to
say?” Suddenly, her chest felt tight, throat felt dry. “Do you want me to sit
here and whine about all that was wrong in my life? I don’t want to be one of
those people that seek pity and attention...I just want to be normal.” Her jaw
clenched, eyes blinked rapidly though no tears pooled. She had mastered these
emotions years ago and learned quickly that no one wanted to see a young girl
cry. Tears made adults uncomfortable, especially the ones that wanted to fix
everything or pretend everything was okay when everything was wrong.
In the corner of her
eye, his leg crossed over the other and she froze for a second. Slowly, her
breath blew from between her barely parted lips as the ice in her body began to
thaw.
“I want you to tell me
what’s in your heart. Be honest with me but do you know what I want more than
anything to happen during these sessions? Do you?” Ella shrugged slowly, her
eyes drifting back to him, “I want you to feel safe. I want you to be honest
with you.”
“I don’t think I know
how to be honest with myself anymore. I don’t know if I can be honest with you,
either. I don’t even know why I’m here. I should go.”
She rose from the
couch, the brown, stiff leather beneath her groaning in protest at the
movement. Ella fully intended to leave, her fingers ghosting over the cool
leather as she walked behind the couch and towards the door.
“Stop Ella.” Dr. Peyton
dropped the file to the coffee table and leaned forward, “That’s good you’ve told
me that. Please...stay. Just for a little while longer. No one is forcing you
to be here. You are doing this on your own and that in itself is commendable.”
He noticed she made no movement towards the door. They were making progress
today. Slow baby steps he reminded himself. “Why do you believe you cannot be
honest with yourself?”
Ella nibbled her lip,
sucking the soft flesh between her teeth. Her voice grew quiet, soft. “I’ve
lied for so long about so much that a lie feels better than the reality.” The
feeling of tears burned hot in her nose. “No one, doc, wants to hear my
honesty. Not even my mom.” She made her way back to the couch, sitting to the
edge.
“Hiding something that
hurts us can be far more detrimental than releasing a truth that will hurt. It
isn’t healthy to squelch your pain.”
She remembered the look
of disappointment in her mother’s eyes the day she found out her dirty secret.
The stone cold words of her mother that forever taunted her. She promised
herself that very day she would never tell her brother Jason; she just couldn’t
bear to see disgust or tolerated pity in his eyes.
Find L.S Broomfield here:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/L.S.Broomfield
Twitter: @LBroomfield1977
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Available in Kindle format on Amazon.com or direct from XOXO Publishing in electronic format ... Evernight: Romance in a World of Darkness VOLUME 2 from Allison Cassatta ...
XOXO Publishing: http://tinyurl.com/8dgmdbz
All Romance E-books: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-evernightvol2-968577-144.html
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